By Jenny Marder
The suicide was the culmination of five days of strange behavior that began shortly after Sanders snorted a powdery substance he bought from a friend. Instead of the brief high he was seeking, he experienced days of insomnia, along with waves of terror and frightening delusions, including an incident where he “saw” 25 police cars outside his parents’ kitchen window and then slit his own throat with a butcher knife. That incident landed Sanders in the hospital with stitches. For a few hours, the hallucinations subsided.
“I don’t like the way this is making me feel,” Sanders told his stepmother, Julie, as the two awaited his release from the hospital. “I promise I won’t do anything again. I’m done.”
But the paranoia flared up with a vengeance that night, and back home, Dickie’s father lay in bed with his son, arms wrapped around him, until he finally nodded off. It’s unclear when Dickie woke up, made his way downstairs to his bedroom and found the rifle he had won in a shooting contest years before. No one heard the gunshot.
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